I’ve been so incredibly sad. Not sad enough to cry, but just plain down. I don’t feel like the same girl I was a couple months ago. I find it odd that the more I look back at old writings, the less I can relate to them. Marina & the Diamond’s new album is called Electra Heart, which is the name of her ‘alter-ego’ & is the anti-Marina. Recently, I find myself being able to relate more to Electra Heart & her stone-cold persona. Maybe it’s just the goal I’m envisioning. I keep getting let down and disappointed and have become so cynical all together. It’s probably my own doing, but I don’t want to believe that. I can’t cry & I won’t, there’s no reason to. I’m just sick of thinking and wondering and not being satisfied, ever. I feel like those bitches people write about,

“She held the world upon a string, but she didn’t ever hold me. She spun the stars on her fingernails but it never made her happy.” - Panic At The Disco

“But you’d drink the ocean and ask for more. ” - Such Gold

etc.

I am so burdened by my own doings.

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